THE joys of parents are secret; and so are their
griefs and fears. They cannot utter the one;
nor they will not utter the other. Children sweeten
labors; but they make misfortunes more bitter.
They increase the cares of life; but they mitigate
the remembrance of death. The perpetuity by
generation is common to beasts; but memory,
merit, and noble works, are proper to men. And
surely a man shall see the noblest works and foun-
dations have proceeded from childless men; which
have sought to express the images of their minds,
where those of their bodies have failed. So the care
of posterity is most in them, that have no posterity.
They that are the first raisers of their houses, are
most indulgent towards their children; beholding
them as the continuance, not only of their kind, but
of their work; and so both children and creatures.
The difference in affection, of parents towards
their several children, is many times unequal; and
sometimes unworthy; especially in the mothers;
as Solomon saith, A wise son rejoiceth the father,
but an ungracious son shames the mother. A man
shall see, where there is a house full of children,
one or two of the eldest respected, and the young-
est made wantons; but in the midst, some that
are as it were forgotten, who many times, never-
theless, prove the best. The illiberality of parents,
in allowance towards their children, is an harmful
error; makes them base; acquaints them with
shifts; makes them sort with mean company; and
makes them surfeit more when they come to
plenty. And therefore the proof is best, when men
keep their authority towards the children, but not
their purse. Men have a foolish manner (both par-
ents and schoolmasters and servants) in creating
and breeding an emulation between brothers, dur-
ing childhood, which many times sorteth to dis-
cord when they are men, and disturbeth families.
The Italians make little difference between chil-
dren, and nephews or near kinsfolks; but so they
be of the lump, they care not though they pass not
through their own body. And, to say truth, in
nature it is much a like matter; insomuch that we
see a nephew sometimes resembleth an uncle, or
a kinsman, more than his own parent; as the blood
happens. Let parents choose betimes, the vocations
and courses they mean their children should take;
for then they are most flexible; and let them not
too much apply themselves to the disposition of
their children, as thinking they will take best to
that, which they have most mind to. It is true, that
if the affection or aptness of the children be extra-
ordinary, then it is good not to cross it; but gener-
ally the precept is good, optimum elige, suave et
facile illud faciet consuetudo. Younger brothers
are commonly fortunate, but seldom or never
where the elder are disinherited.
文学作品欣赏—Of Parents and Children （论父母和孩子）
